Listen, I’m no stroller jockey. I find it much easier to get around with baby riding on my torso. In fairness, Jackman makes this recommendation in his “scathing” click-bait listicle on the Detroit Metro Times blog, a local alternative news rag. But in his article, titled “How not to do Flower Day at Eastern Market,” the writer comes off as an angry old troll, criticizing any parent who dares interrupt what he deems an optimum shopping experience.
Jackman’s post spews incendiary speech and conflicting ideologies about the preferred behaviors of market patrons. For instance, “Show good fellowship and try to be gracious.” Fair enough. The next sentence, “Do not stop to talk to somebody going the other way.” WTF. Jackman’s definition of friendliness does not include banter just let the man get to the hydrangeas unimpeded for fuck’s sake!
“It’s fucking magical to look at all these flowers. Jesus Christ, will little Duncan or Emily love to look at all this colorful crap and the little bunnies in cages and shit like that. Well, no. Not really. Especially when they’re strapped into a stroller and being shoved through a crowd of people trying to nimbly walk around them and bargain hunt, all while they turn you into a 1-mile-per-hour shuffle-butt slowing traffic to a crawl.”
Your self-righteous arrogance is flawed Mr. Jackman. You’re not playing nice either. My money is as green as yours. Instead of boiling indignation, recognize the difficulties of involved parenting. It’s not easy. But if you can’t be bothered, you’ll just have to stop and smell the roses while we too work to navigate the crowds. Your patience is appreciated.
If we remove the strollers and wagons from the equation, what we have left are people. Good people with good intentions. Parents striving to nourish an appreciation for mother nature’s colorful bounty. Budget-minded families endeavoring to grow their own food and beautify their homes and neighborhoods. Kindred folks enjoying the company of strangers and building that community of which is a fundamental pillar of Detroit’s Eastern Market. Are there bad apples out there spoiling the bunch? Sure. But lumping every stroller scenario under a “you’re not allowed” policy is wildly unfair.
Like I tell my kids when they’re acting fussy…chill out dude.